Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
