she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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