I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
