I think my vagina is haunted
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
