Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
