i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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