OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
