Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
