i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize