i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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