Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
