i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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