i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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