fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
