we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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