THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
