lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
