It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
