speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
