is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
