my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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