i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
