help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.