I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
