it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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