hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
