great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
