i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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