How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I can't turn off my feet"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
