Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
