Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we made out on top of his cat.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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