Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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