Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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