Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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