Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
