i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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