I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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