Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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