I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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