it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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