In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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