Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
