i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
