I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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