Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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