shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
