i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.