There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
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Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.