come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?