You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody