I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
