Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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