Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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