I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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