How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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