A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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