I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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