I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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