I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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