My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
