we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When are your genitals available?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
